Let your wandering mind be captured between the lines
I am 29 years old as I write this post.
I can’t say that my life is perfect but I genuinely have very little to complain about.
There aren’t enough characters in this page that could justly grasp the degree of gratitude that I feel.
Now, rewind to my early 20’s. My mind and soul had a much different story to tell.
Depression was the most emotionally consistent feeling I had felt.
Every day was a challenge that I was either too scared or to apathetic to face.
Suicide was an aspiration and not just a taboo concept to me.
There are many reasons why I felt the way I did.
And to those that are in that space now, I understand and sympathize with you.
It took several years for me to really begin to love myself.
There was one action that really benefitted me….
Journal Writing.
Putting my thoughts on paper allowed me to vent. See, when you’re depressed, you feel as though you are all alone.
As though you have no one in your corner who can just sit and listen.
The pages spoke to me when I wrote, they told me a story of sadness but also of hope.
It didn’t matter if I slept in all day, went to University or worked. I had a way to express myself authentically without anyone being there to judge.
The more I wrote, the more I saw who I was. The person who I was hiding in a crowd of people.
Each word became an avatar of who I truly was. So, the more I read what I wrote, the more I got to learn about myself.
With each day that passed, I began to see my value.
It could be the little things like smiling at a stranger or singing in my car.
When I would re-read pages of weeks gone, I would remember those little moments.
Those little pockets of light that I could use as energy while I struggled with depression.
It’s not a perfect system but it certainly helped me out.
I pray that maybe it could work for others in the way that it has helped me.
If anyone is struggling and may need guidance, feel free to contact me.
You are not alone!!!